Turning The Other Cheek: Letting Suffering End With You

In the Gospel of Matthew, Jesus introduces a radical departure from the prevailing norm of retributive justice:

You have heard that it was said, 'An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth.' But I tell you, do not resist an evil person. If anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to them the other cheek also.

At first glance, this teaching might be mistaken for a call to passivity.

However, Jesus is not advocating for submission to injustice but rather offering a strategy for breaking the cycle of retribution. By refusing to respond to an offense with another, one severs the chain reaction of escalating violence and personal suffering.

Jesus’s message extends well beyond this single instruction.

In Matthew 5:44, he challenges his listeners to "love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you."

This directive shifts the focus from seeking external measures of justice to cultivating an inner transformation.

In choosing love over retaliation, we begin to address the root of our suffering: the ego's need to be right and to balance every wrong with a counter wrong.

This internal reorientation is echoed throughout Jesus’s teachings. Consider the Beatitudes, where Jesus blesses the meek. Those who do not assert their rights through vengeance, promising that "they shall inherit the earth."

Here, meekness is not weakness but a strength that lies in controlled self-restraint and the courage to rise above instinctual responses.

Similarly, in Mark 8:34, Jesus invites his followers to "take up your cross and follow me," underscoring that the path of non-retaliation and forgiveness is a conscious and demanding journey toward true liberation.

Furthermore, by urging us to let suffering end with ourselves, Jesus offers a profound psychological insight.

Every time we respond to hurt with hurt, we reinforce the power of the offense and perpetuate our own cycle of pain.

In contrast, when we absorb the impact of an injury without retaliating, we reclaim our power and allow healing to begin from within.

This is not an act of self-denial but one of self-mastery, where the focus shifts from the external perpetrator to the internal process of forgiveness and personal growth.

The Cycle of Suffering

The Bhagavad Gita offers a precise psychological analysis of how suffering perpetuates itself through our reactions. Krishna explains to Arjuna the mechanism by which a single offense can spiral into a chain of increasing suffering:

When a person dwells on objects of the senses, attachment to them develops. From attachment, desire is born. From desire arises anger. From anger comes delusion; from delusion, confusion of memory. From confusion of memory comes destruction of intelligence, and from destruction of intelligence, one perishes. (Bhagavad Gita 2.62-63)

This sequence reveals that our reaction to being wronged follows a predictable pattern that, if left unchecked, leads to our own downfall.

When someone offends us, we first become attached to the offense. We dwell on it, replay it in our minds, and strengthen our identification with being the wronged party.

This attachment gives birth to desire, specifically, the desire for retribution or justice. When this desire is frustrated or intensified, it transforms into anger.

Krishna further illuminates this process in another verse:

The senses, the mind, and the intellect are said to be the seat of desire. Through these, desire veils knowledge and deludes the embodied soul. (Bhagavad Gita 3.40)

The practical implication of these teachings aligns perfectly with Jesus's instruction to "turn the other cheek."

By choosing not to retaliate, we're not just performing an act of saintly forbearance. We're actually interrupting a psychological mechanism that would otherwise lead to our own suffering.

Krishna offers additional wisdom about breaking this cycle:

But the person of steady wisdom, who neither rejoices upon achieving what is pleasant nor becomes disturbed upon obtaining what is unpleasant, who is self-intelligent, unbewildered, and knows the science of God, is to be considered situated in transcendental consciousness. (Bhagavad Gita 2.56)

This steady wisdom (sthita prajna) that Krishna describes is precisely what allows us to step out of the cycle of suffering.

When we're wronged, this wisdom enables us to see beyond the immediate impulse for retaliation and recognize that our true self, our undivided consciousness, remains untouched by the offense.

Letting Go of Suffering

In the teachings we have explored, from Jesus’s call to "turn the other cheek" and love one’s enemies, to Krishna’s analysis of the self-perpetuating cycle of attachment and anger, we find a common invitation: to reclaim our inner peace by releasing the grip of retaliatory pain.

This same invitation is echoed in the words of the Buddha, who reminds us:

Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned.

Such wisdom binds these perspectives together, urging us to see that our suffering does not stem solely from the offense itself, but from the inner turmoil it incites.

When we allow the sting of an insult or the weight of injustice to persist within us, we feed the cycle of attachment that Krishna so vividly described.

Similarly, clinging to resentment only deepens our wounds rather than heals them. The Buddha’s teaching gently guides us toward a different path. A path of mindful awareness and compassionate detachment.

In this light, letting go of suffering means acknowledging our pain, then choosing not to let it define or confine us. It is a courageous act of self-mastery, not of submission, but of freeing ourselves from the endless cycle of reactivity.

As you reflect on your own experiences of being hurt or wronged, consider pausing to observe the emotions that arise.

Ask yourself: How might I, instead of fueling the cycle of retribution, nurture a quiet space within where forgiveness and understanding can take root?

Through meditation, reflective journaling, or simply mindful breathing, you can begin to disentangle the threads of anger from the fabric of your identity.

In doing so, you are not denying your suffering; rather, you are transforming it into an opportunity for inner growth and illumination.

By integrating the profound insights of Jesus, Krishna, and the Buddha, we come to understand that the end of suffering begins with the individual choice to relinquish the ego’s need for balance through retaliation.

Let this be an ongoing invitation to continually explore the depth of your emotions, to master the impulses that bind you to pain, and to step, ever so gently, onto a path that leads not only to the cessation of suffering but also to the blossoming of inner peace and enlightenment.